Middle school is that mysterious place between child and teen, and parenting during these years can be a challenge. Being prepared to give hugs, endure long silences and have firm boundaries can make this time memorable and even fun. Guiding while encouraging independence is the goal.
Middle School Expectations
Before the start of school, talk about your expectations for your child. This should include dialogue about grades, extra-curricular activities, homework, time with friends and family time. Talking about what you expect in each area ahead of time helps your child think about how he or she needs to structure his or her time so there are no surprises. It’s also important to listen to your child’s expectations about his time in middle school. This age child tends to have some apprehensions about a new school, and how he will fit in to his new environment. Along with apprehensions come expectations about new house rules, new bedtimes and new responsibilities. Tween students want to know their parents realize they are growing up and that some things naturally need to change.
Academic Middle School Goals
Setting up academic goals is a great way to prepare your son or daughter for the middle years. Use her strengths and weaknesses from prior school years to determine what is reasonable for her to accomplish each term and subject. The benchmark should always be for her to do her best, but leaving that open ended with no letter grade attached isn’t a clear enough road map. Middle school kids need clear and specific boundaries in academics in order to be successful and feel good about themselves. Take things one term at a time and adjust academic goals as you go along. This lets you make allowances for learning new material and adjusting to new surroundings.
Organizational Middle School Goals
One of the key things to consider when getting your child ready for grades 6-8 is organization. This age student, by nature, can be very scattered. Hormones, body changes, changes in environment and relationships with peers can all serve to keep these children a little off balance. Require the use of a daily planner to keep homework assignments and projects organized and calendared. Set-up a specific place and time for homework, and keep that area well-lighted and free from clutter. Make sure the homework area is in a dining room or kitchen, well away from TV, so that you can monitor homework progress and keep distractions to a minimum. Set up a schedule for after school that includes down time, snack time, music practice as well as homework. Get your child involved in planning this time so he will feel ownership in how his afternoon is structured. Limit after school activities until you see how your child is handling his new life in middle school. Reward good organizational skills with something of value to your child.
Staying Connected in Middle School
A difficult transition for some parents is how much to stay connected to the middle school environment. Elementary school gives parents many opportunities to be in the building and help in the classroom. As your son or daughter transitions to the middle grades, these opportunities will become less and less. That doesn’t mean it’s time to stop communication with your child’s teachers. The years between elementary school and high school can be chaotic at first, so it’s important to establish a relationship with your child’s teachers and take opportunities to volunteer when they’re offered. Talk with your child about how much they’d like to see you in the building and in what activities they want you involved. Middle school kids like to feel independent, so it’s important to respect them as they grow and change.
Middle School Independence
Giving too much freedom during the middle school years can be a big temptation. However, these years can make or break a child’s secondary school experience. By giving increased independence when it’s earned, a child’s sense of self-esteem can really grow. But be careful not to take your hands off too early. At the first sign of trouble, academic, social or otherwise, step in. If falling grades or social issues are a problem, schedule an appointment to meet with teachers. Students in grades 6-8 need parental support to make this important step toward adulthood.
Middle school can be a great time for both parents and children. Getting your kids off to the right start will help make these school years productive, memorable and fun.
Patti Richards - Patti Richards is a freelance writer and editor, former teacher, wife and mother of three. Patti writes children’s books and stories ...
